8 Tips for your Child’s Phone Time with their Non-Custodial Parent
It goes without saying when it is not our parenting time we miss our children. We want to keep in touch. We want to hear about school. We want to hear about activities and or how they are feeling. The obvious answer is for the custodial parent to provide the ability for this communication on a regular basis. Obvious is not always simple to execute follow or even create. The following are a few helpful tips to assist:
Never ask your children to relay any message from you to your co-parent.
Provide children privacy to speak with the non-custodial parent.
Do not use this time to talk or argue with one another in front of the child or children. (Schedule another time to meet privately.)
Communicate with one another if the scheduled time will not work and allow for flexibility. (Schedules change for everyone and everyone must be mindful of this.)
Refrain from recording calls with your child unless court ordered.
Do not coach child or children about what to say during a call.
Keep the call short and age appropriate based on your child’s ability to focus and interact in
this manner and end the call if they seem stressed or not engaged.
Be mindful of your tone as children are very sensitive and can often feel as they are being
grilled or interrogated. (Focus on your child’s day and activities.)
In summary, remember these calls are more for the parents than the child or children. It can be very difficult or uncomfortable for your child to be with one parent and be asked to focus on the other. Putting your child or children’s needs ahead of your own is always best practice.
Shana Schwartz is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in high-conflict and complex family matters, helping families navigate these situations with the goal of “putting your child first.” She is a co-parenting counselor, parent coordinator, collaborative divorce specialist, reunification counselor, and child & adolescent therapist.
